The Flaw Line

I’ve been thinking a lot about people and their imperfections. Instead of a cautious tell this time, I am asking a question.

At what point do we draw the Flaw Line?

Everyone has a Flaw Line, it’s that line where someone’s flaws just become too much and you can’t handle them anymore. Where does that line get drawn? Are we supposed to accept people and all of their flaws, physical and emotional?

I know we all have different lines at varying degrees. Some people can handle a lot of flaws (they like the fixer-uppers), and there are those that have to have perfection in the form of a person (they want a finished product and in my experience are often the dreaded serial dater). With Coyote I have drawn my line.

Here are is the list of flaws with Coyote, can you guess where I drew the line?:He occasionally smokes (when he is with me he vapes which is fine)

1. He smokes (he vapes around me which is fine).
2. He occasionally dips (so far he has only done this once in front of me).
3. PTSD from serving over seas.
4. He is a very bad communicator.

Can you guess my line?

Number four is where I draw the line. I need some type of communication beyond the physical. When we are together, BOOM, BANG, WHIZ Z!! Fireworks!! When we are apart, it’s radio silence until the day of our next meeting. We hold little to no conversations during the week and when we do they are brief because he has just gotten off from work and is about to fall asleep. I know he is busy, but is it too much to ask to send me as “thinking of you snap” or “miss you Facebook message”?

I understand that no one is perfect. No relationship is easy due to people’s imperfections. He has communication problems, I have anxiety and trust issues,  my ex-turned friend (I really need to give him a name) has commitment issues. I get it, we all have problems that make a relationship hard work. But I think we need to be allowed a little wiggle room. If we try to ignore the problem or apply Elmer’s Glue, it’s going to fall apart all over again.

This weekend, during date number six, I will have a talk with Mr.Coyote the Imperfect. I am hoping we can find a glue stronger the Elmer’s to hold this new relationship together.

If not.I have a summer to work, volunteer, and get my young adult life ready for my senior year of college.

-Girl Y

 

Changing the Girl

Allow me to rant for this post. If you disagree with anything in this rant-post, feel free to comment, but please do so respectfully.

I shared the above picture on my timeline on Facebook this morning. Now, I want to make it clear. I am not a radical feminist. I wear makeup almost every time I leave my house, I sometimes wear dresses, I like it when my significant other calls me a “princess”, I sometimes like the color pink (but I hardly every wear it). So I am not anti-man and women should rule the world. But I have many liberal views and those views are not shared by many in the South (which is where I have grown up).

My Mom, a very conservative person replied to the link on my timeline, politely disagreeing, stating that girls should respect themselves enough to dress appropriate for school, that the dress code should be followed, and that students should respect each other.

I agree that students should respect each other. After all, humans should respect humans (alas this is not the case nor the moral to this rant). I also agree that the students should follow the dress code. After all, what is school for other than to teach us how to obey authority, (again another topic for another rant). What I do not agree with is that girls should “respect themselves to dress” a certain way.

Sixty years ago, women couldn’t wear pants in public. Before that it was scandalous to wear a dress that stopped at the knee. Before that, ankles were considered sexual. What does this prove? This proves that society has Always dominated what is considered “appropriate” to wear. If women were seen dressing outside of the societal norms they were body shamed and told to dress “more like a proper lady”.

Why were they told to change? Because men were taught that an ankle is too sexy and that if a lady shows her ankle, it is okay to have sex with her, even if she says “No”. The same rule applied to women that wore dresses that stopped at the knee. And the same… no wait. Pants covered more so why weren’t they allowed to wear pants? Oh right. Because that was “too masculine”, look at that, men controlling what women wear again.

It is 2016!! We should not be allowing men to determine what we wear. Like I said before, if you attend a school where the dress code is to cover your bloody shoulders, just do it. You can fight the system when you are in your twenty’s and have done more research and people are more likely to listen to you (Wait. You’re a woman. No one listens to you). It will take more than just one person fighting the system to make the changes needed.

In my response to my conservative mom, I said that it’s not the girls that should be publicly embarrassed about their outfit of choice.Why should they be shamed for the way they were born? Everyone has skin, knees, and ankles. It’s not the girls that should change. Society should change how they display women’s bodies and people should educate their kids about the human anatomy without over sexualizing it.

Thank you for reading my rant. Comments for or against this argument are welcome.

-Girl Y